Another Yearly Update… I guess

I seem to only remember this blog exists once a year at this point. Started when I was merely 15. I am now 22. Wild. The past two years have had pretty depressing update posts. Reflective of my mindset at the time. Fading into the Light was a title I chose trying to be optimistic …

Fate is Sealed Now

You know, I keep thinking, what if. What if I had kept that internship? What if I hadn’t gone to work that morning? What if I had stayed awake longer that night. WHAT IF I HAD WOKEN UP?! Could I have stopped this all? Or would I have just delayed the inevitable? Would it just …

On by a Thread

Dear whoever decides to read this. CW: depression, sui****, and those topics that relate. I don’t really know what to do with myself. Everyone I care about is falling apart. As soon as they say they are better they fall again a few days later. I fell for someone. I am struggling to take the …

94 to 100

When I was 10, my childhood was put on hold. When I was 11, it lit on fire. When I was 12, I wasn’t. When I was 13, I didn’t cry. When I was 14, I lied. When I was 15, I wrote. When I was 16, I wrote. When I was 17, I wrote. …

Living without a minds eye

My brain has never functioned as what one would define as normal. Something people around me were aware of. People called me creative, and on its own, this is average, but there on the other side of the coin were the questions I would ask that no one seemed to know the answers to. This …

A New Purpose

A few years ago, there was a form of surface-level awareness about how I felt. These old posts show that surface level. Back then, they were all I needed. They were the solution. Now, I can see them as what they were, a cry for help. When I decided to start this blog up again, …

Beginning of New Posts

The first new post will be next week, Wednesday, Oct 21. From now on, there will be a new post every Wednesday. I'm glad to be back!

Update

It has been over two years since I last updated this blog. It stands as a record of where I came from, and because of that, I have no intention of deleting it. I am actually planning on returning relatively soon. This blog gave me an outlet in a time in my life I felt …

Crumble

the ground is solid when you take steps it doesn't crumble yet, you feel it crumble you feel it dissolve it's not crumbling, though take a step back look down at it no cracks no disturbance you're safe so you keep moving forward ignoring the feeling and you make it across it was just a …

Burn

I think we forget Who we gave all the power to Because we clearly have none We're just faking it So who is in charge? Who is pulling the strings? Who is our master? The puppeteer They stand beyond our view And we can't remember who they are We handed it to them We gave …